Justin hates olives. A lot. I can’t understand why because I absolutely love them. As a kid I’d put black olives from the can onto my fingers and bite them off, which seems like a pretty common kid (or grownup?) thing to do. However, on our very first date we were at a bar and I ordered some olives to snack on and Justin ate one. I didn’t think anything of it at the time, other than ‘why isn’t he eating more of these olives?’ but it turns out he hated them (duh) and was trying to act cool in front of me (aww). In Barcelona olives are plentiful and much more delicious than in Seattle, so I took this as an opportunity to force Justin to try them over and over again in the hopes that he will someday enjoy them.
This comes with one caveat: I’m no expert on olive varieties and only know the obvious kinds, so these are broken up into “green” or “black”. Sorry.
The Olive Reviews
Olive #1: Txikiteo, Gothic Quarter
Justin’s first olive of the trip came unexpectedly, along the side of some marinated anchovies we had as a tapa. Everyone at the table agreed that black olives are definitely the worst olives (the kind you’d get on pizza in America). While they may be the worst kind, that doesn’t necessarily mean they are bad—I love black olives. They’re just the worst kind. Anyways, onto this olive:
What did Justin think? *Justin makes a fart noise with his mouth*
Olive #2: Tapeo, El Born
These olives came in a glass of the house vermouth, which was a sweeter red versus the kind we normally see in America. The olives, I assume, were perhaps…. Spanish Queen olives? (Those are the kind you throw in a martini). They probably were something more interesting.
What did Justin think? “The olives were just okay… the vermouth was much better.”
Olive #3: Golfo de Bizkaya, El Born
After a long evening of drinking we ended up here stuffing our faces with pintxos. One of the offerings was simply a few olives and peppers on a toothpick, the pintxo gilda. It’s one of my personal favorite pintxos and was the garnish of my favorite martini at the now-closed bar Txori in Seattle (miss you Txori!!).
What did Justin think? “I was a little saucy by this point and ate them without any issues.”
Olive #4: PastaBar, Gothic Quarter
We ordered these on the side of some quick carb-load we were eating to power our siestas. I think they were Castelvedrano olives, super mild, buttery, and easy to eat. The group all liked these olives the best from the ones we’d eaten to that point.
What did Justin think? “These were the best olives so far. I even ate two!”
Olive #5: Bodega 1900, Sants
Ok, now this isn’t fair. Albert Adria, brother of Ferran Adria of el Bulli, runs this place and has kept the famous “molecular gastronomy” olives on the menu. A la carte! They make a membrane out of gelatin and fill it with olive juice so when you eat it the membrane pops and a flood of olive flavor fills your mouth. Just wonderful. Wonderful! [You can see how they make them here]
What did Justin think? “This was the funnest one to eat! It was super-olivey. I would eat another for sure, but for the experience of the texture rather than the olive flavor. Sorry.”
Well, I tried.
I was really determined for him to like olives, but looking at the evidence I don’t think the chances are good. I want him to share this joy that is an olive! To enhance his life! But after all these different types and flavors that he ate what does he think???
Does Justin still hate olives?
“I would not choose to eat them on my own. I don’t think they’re very good. Sorry, Miko.”